It's OFFICIAL

Although in our heart of hearts, we knew while living in Poland three years ago that some day we'd return.

What we didn't know was "when".

BUT, God did.  Despite the tears and heartache with the implications it has on our family, we are confidant that in the end our tears are for His glory.  Our church, Manchester Christian Church, has a heart beat in "Pray for One".  I will be the first to admit that when it first was said... over... and over.... and over... and OVER again... I easily dismissed it.  I'm not one for "mottos" or a cutesy gimmicky phrases.  We are ALL called to pray.  We are ALL called to go and seek and save the lost.  Why do we need to "name" it?  Well, funny how things change when you actually let God have a way with you.  I took it before Him and sought forgiveness as I certainly wasn't being a good team player.  I'm not one to go out and bash or be vocally unsupportive of my church, but there are many of us (like myself) who will do it in our hearts.  What I wasn't prepared for was how God would gloriously ruin me over it.  When I started "really" praying for One... my heart changed, but it wasn't just my heart... but Josh's as well.  It didn't take long for us to privately realize the direction our prayers for One was leading us, yet it certainly took us long enough to collectively talk about it.

Finally, a year ago we started talking seriously with Proem.  We started praying earnestly and seriously.  We still went back and forth with timing, but in the Spring, we knew.  We knew that it was time to just get on with it already!  God took me through a series of "deliverance" of fears and disappointments.  In June the bonds that had held me back for so many long years were broken and I knew I had been delivered from them.

What I have learned from this past year in preparing my heart to make our official decision to return to Poland can't be summed up in a few words.  Life is a journey.  You question.  You doubt.  You hurt. You fear.  Even in a crowd of people or in the midst of amazing supportive friends, you feel alone.  This side of heaven will be full of that.  But I know that I have a relentless heavenly Father who loves me.  One who sustains me.  One who carries me.  One who saves me.  He seeks to break the bond of fear.... and so much of this past year's journey was about that and it's imperative for me to share it.

We are embarking on a new chapter, but one that has many unknowns "known".  We were able to make our decision with our "eyes wide open".  We know our return (a long-term commitment) won't come as a surprise to many.  No, most celebrate with us and rejoice over it.  God has woven this country into the tapestry of our lives long ago.

So, here we are!  We will remain here in NH until we leave next summer.  We will be returning to serve primarily with Proem's Education Center/School.  Josh will be serving as their upper level physical education teacher and I'll be an English teacher.  The girls will attend the school and continue with a mix of attending Polish classes and online courses in English.  Remember the ground the city approached the ministry about?  Well, ground broke on the center last week!  Next summer the educational center will be built and open!

The timing of such events could only be a result of God, so we are just honored to be a part of it all.


Thank you for continued support, encouragement and prayers.  Love to all!

Ok, it worked! I feel quite proud that I figured it out quite quickly.

This video is BIG NEWS for next steps in the educational aspect of the ministry.  If you recall, I had mentioned last year about the city of Tomaszow approaching Proem about land in the city that was available.  There were a lot of obstacles and challenges put in their way, but as you'll learn in the video... GOD has bigger plans!  We are super excited!

 http://vimeo.com/89608488 

As I close up, they are beginning their planning stages for this year's summer camps.  Would you take a few minutes of your time today and simply praise Him for His work in Poland?  And pray specifically for God to raise up strategic partners for this next stage in their ministry.  Funds are needed to build the new school and community center... may it become a beacon of LIGHT!

If you have any questions or desire to help in some way, please let me know!

Proem Happenings

Upon reading my last entry almost a year ago, I realized that I had stated I would try and post things just so you all could continue to hear about the work in Poland.  Funny how quickly time goes by!  I do however, have MUCH to update you upon!

I am going to try and post links to vimeo videos as they are clearly the best mode to communicate what's been happening!  Let's see if I can make this link happen. :)

 http://vimeo.com/92359621

I'll try this...post it and hopefully be able to add more.

The Journey's "End"

It's hard to believe that a week ago today we were waking up after a long flight's journey back to the States. First we didn't almost make it out of Berlin due to not having the correct papers that proved we were legally in Poland for those 11 months.  Then upon arriving in Chicago we had delay after delay just trying to get down to St. Louis. Alas, after waiting 8 hours, we boarded our 43 minute flight to St. Louis and arrived there at 11:30pm.  We were greeted by tired, yet excited family of Josh's in their RV. Our Journey to Poland had come to an end.

It's weird seeing pictures on facebook now of summer camps at Zakosciele.  They had their first camp this week of the summer.  It was a junior (youth 7-14) multi-sport camp.  It would've been a perfect way to end our time there, but unfortunately, our Visa's only allowed us to be there until the end of June.  The girls have been anticipating playing with their cousins and needless to say, they've been enjoying every minute of it this past week.

Mixed emotions?  Yep.  It's hard to say "See you Later" (as we don't believe in goodbyes!), when you don't know exactly when the "later" time will be when you get to see them again.  However, we are very confidant it will be sooner than later.  The reality is that we'll probably be making trips over (hopefully with teams) and have to break the family up in doing it since tickets alone are so expensive.  The relationships made are forever intertwined with ours and below I have a few names that I want you to continue to be covering in prayer.

And although we are no longer physically serving with ProEm on the frontlines of their ministry, we are convinced more than ever that prayer is the foundation to see His glory experienced in individual lives.  We got to see first hand prayers being answered and now we'll be praying for others that entered our lives right at the very end.

What's next in timeline for us (should any of you wonder?!)?

We'll be spending the remaining month of July in IL and WI and then heading back to NH the 1st of August.  We are still needing to live on our monthly support as we won't be receiving paychecks until the very end of August (as far as we know at the moment) when we return to our schools.  I have to be honest and say it's a weird feeling to be living on support when you aren't physically in the country.  AND...  $50 spent at the grocery store hardly gets very far compared to $50 in Poland that can fill our cabinets for a week's worth of food.  Thankfully, staying with family, we don't have a whole lot of groceries that we have to buy.  :)  For those of you who follow us on our blog, thank you for taking this journey with us, for praying for the people of Poland and hopefully falling in love with what God is doing there.  Please don't stop praying!

So, how can you still be praying specifically?  Well, pray for a woman named Gosia... she is a caretaker for a local orphanage and a dear friend of a lady (also named Gosia who is a new believer at the Tomy Church).  My friend (Gosia) has been praying for her friend, Gosia, for a while now and has had some pretty awesome talks and prayers together.  Recently, I met Gosia because a friend from our old church in Rochester, IL came to Poland to do some exploratory work for an orphans and adoption ministry.  I was able to tag along with her to some of our visits.   It didn't take long for the three of us (my friend Gosia, Sara from IL and myself) to see that Sara's visit was an important link in Gosia's journey.  AND, not just for Gosia's, but for two young ladies who grew up in the orphanage and starting the transition process of having to leave the orphanage because they are 18.  The two girls's names are Weronika (pronounced Veronica) and Daria.  Gosia and the two young ladies went to church at Tomy for the very first time last weekend!  The girls want to go back.  Pray for Gosia, Weronika and Daria!

And, continue to pray for our friend Rodick.  Although they are older than us, we became very close to the family.  We will miss our times together and the memories made when our families got together (often for Alicja taught me how to make some great traditional Polish dishes) are forever imprinted in our hearts and memory.

If you receive automatic emails whenever I post something, that's good because I hope to continue to post things for you to continue to pray for and updates on lives of people there.

Pray for the camps... pretty much every week of camp is maxed out in numbers.  Pray for the counselors and staff as both Josh and I know from being camp counselors ourselves here in the States (blast from the past!) that week after week of camps can take a toll.

Pray for the ProEm staff because summer has traditionally been the busiest time of the year for the ministry.  Funny thing, with the expanding ministry in Lodz and a grant that the Tomy church just received from the city to do a "community center" type of outreach after school to the neighborhood children, every day life for the ProEm Staff has been getting increasingly busier.  BusYness can slowly rob those in ministry of FOCUS on WHOM we do all things for.  Most of you know, we get it... and we can't let great ministry outreaches take precedence over KNOWING Him.  

I will wrap up this post with a prayer for you... one I often prayed while in Poland thinking of all of you who have been our faithful prayer warriors... it's from Philippians 1:3-6

"I thank God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

May happenings....

May has been a month of excursions for me... if you can believe it (most people here can not), I haven't even been to Warsaw yet to "sight see"!!  Thankfully, if it doesn't happen before we leave, that's ok because I've been there plenty of times before.  However, it just goes to show that we haven't gotten out much, eh?!!!  BUT, with the visit of my parents and two field trips I get to go on with my school, I am making up for it now!

Kaylor and I were located in southwestern Poland right along the border of the Czech Republic for her 5 day field trip.

Kaylor and I posing in front of the natural spring... we took a hike to this little town that is known for it's spring water.  I didn't particularly care for the metalic tasting water, but they claim you look younger by drinking it! (ha!)

Polish students (our school and another school) in English speaking activities led by guys and gals in their 20's from around the world (associated with Youth in Action, a European Forum).  It was a really fantastic time and I even learned a lot about other countries, too! 

One morning we had an excursion to town that has a well-known fortress.  The view from the top was beautiful.

Love the homemade honey here... took this shot while on a "hike".

We hiked a mountain and this was our view from the top.

Kaylor showing off her strength!

 My parents came for 1 1/2  weeks before a 2 week journey through Germany, Austria, Switzerland and then the Czech Republic.  They are still there now and then will return next week for a few days before flying back to the States.  Their visit has been a huge blessing to me!  This is their first time to Europe and a dream come true for them, although Poland actually wasn't on their initial dream visit tour!!  I think they're happy they have gotten to see some of Poland, even with us in it!  It was a TOTAL surprise to the girls and actually arrived on Kaylor's birthday.  Too bad we didn't take a snap shot of their faces when they walked in the door to our flat!

Lauren and with Grandma in Krakow

My parents and I in Krakow

Enjoying Spring and Bearing the Soul

The snow has melted F I N A L L Y.  The trees have been budding for the last few weeks (which means Josh has suffered) and I've heard that because we had such a long winter (some say the longest in 100 years?!! lucky us!), there are three trees that actually have been budding at the same time instead of weeks apart.  That being said, I was glad we brought a large amount of Zyrtec!  Lauren suffered a little bit due to it all, but we are blessed to have a doctor who is a parent of Lauren's classmate, thus my student, and they go to Tomy church.  She comes and visits us and doesn't charge a penny.  Who gets to claim that?!!  She and her husband (who is the chief Urologist at the Tomaszow hospital) had us over for coffee and sweets a few months ago and it was apparently a huge step for her husband as he speaks little English and he also doesn't go to church with the family.  She has the strongest English and a zealous faith.  I mention this family because I want you to know who God has brought into our lives here in Poland and who has been a blessing to us.  This family certainly has!

Speaking of families, remember the family we've grown very close to here... the family of my principal?  We had another dinner outing at their house (but this time we brought food- tacos- and treated them!) and since the snow had (did I mention FINALLY?!) melted, we took a nice leisurely stroll out in the countryside and along the river with them.  It was very relaxing.  The next morning, they ALL came to church.  I mention this because the father has basically only come to church 1-2 times a year.  Something is stirring!!!

Now that there is consistent sunshine, green, flowers blooming and warmth in the air, I feel a blanket coming off me.  I'm going to be honest and say that near the end of our "long" winter, I was feeling it... emotionally, spiritually, and well, physically as I've definitely put on a few extra pounds!  I was having a hard time, but feel l'm moving into a better place with it all.

My educational background is with cross-cultural acquisition and although everyone goes through the  same stages, the time in which you go through them is different for everyone.  I think I've been going through one.  Wait, I know I have.  And it's hard to navigate through a sea of emotions.

Life is hard as a missionary.  I don't know if I could even call myself a missionary in the traditional sense.  I've basically took my skills, talents and passions that God's given me and just stepped into a different culture and school. My gospel message is still the same as in NH... I earn the right to be heard by pouring all I am into teaching the best I know how and can.  It's hard to go any further here, however, because even if I've "earned the right to be heard" by someone, I can't speak out my love for Christ. I don't know Polish!   I'm honestly not even able to help build the local church because of my language barrier.  I just sit there Sunday after Sunday and take up space.  I know, that seems harsh, but it's a glimpse in my heart and thoughts of things I've wrestled with.  Josh gave up so much to come here, yet we knew God CALLED us to come.  We raised up support, people who would partner with us in the ministry here, but (like many western "missionaries") struggle with what we will "show" for it.     Many of you reading this have made sacrifices financially for us to be here, to bless us, to bless the ministry we are serving alongside... it's natural to want to communicate and "show"some dividends of what you've sacrificed for, right?!!  And I mean "Kingdom" show and tell.  BUT, then I scold myself for thinking that way because I know, I know... it's HIS show.... not mine. :)

I speak of families, individuals whom God has blessed in our lives.  I know God has also used us to bless their lives, but it's just so darn easy to let the Enemy tear you down and speak lies of ineffectiveness.  Speaking of lies, this brings me to another area I've really struggled with:  teaching all day.... and I mean literally, most days, ALL day.  I just simply can't keep doing it.  PLUS, there's so much that I haven't been able to do, didn't do, and won't get to with the girls' education.

Here's my day:  I teach at Tomek 5 classes a day.  Most days, I am using my 2 hour plan period at the school, so that's 7 hours at the school.  The girls and I come home... THEY get 30 minutes of "rest" and I get 30 minutes to go through their work that I had to prepare for them to do in the school that day.  I check how they did, what they did, and well, you get the idea.  Because THEN I have to "teach"... and I don't know if it's because we are in a unique situation where they are at a school all day... doing school work independently (if they can), and then come home to do "school" again.  I have been struggling with it all... and with a personality like mine, it's not a good mix.  I'm a teacher, so I'm naturally much harder on myself.  The girls are either zombies or bouncing off the wall like their preparing for a circus.  Either one, it's a struggle to do any teaching with them.  Bottom line, I just can't keep doing it.  I am SO TIRED!

And going back to the language piece, for someone who's lived here for 10 months, I'm not that far along in understanding or speaking Polish in social situations.  Really, not much at all.  BUT... our situation is different than most... I teach English all day, I come home to an English speaking family and  I have to continue "teaching"... in English!  It's my responsibility to keep the girls' education up to par, so that's a lot of pressure... it's not like I have a whole lot of time to invest in studying and learning the language!  I guess I have a different perspective now for families that move to America... we can be really hard on people who don't learn the language.  I guess all I can say now is it's best to really understand their day to day life... and it's not fair to make a judgement call without knowing what their life if really like first.  Most people have no idea what it's like until they've tried it themselves.    I feel bad that I don't know more Polish and THAT has weighed on me.  If you plan to be in another country more than 1 year, you HAVE to build language learning into your day to day life and make it a priority.  AND, if you don't early on... it's really hard to adjust to doing so later on.  I had to come to terms with that it just simply wasn't a priority for our purpose being here.

Well, I had no idea that I would end up "bearing my soul" and I apologize for making this post more a "Dear Diary" than an "update" on all that's super and grand here!!!  Therapeutic I guess.... and thanks for listening. I just went back and added to the post title "Enjoying Spring" with "Bearing the Soul".  Seemed a bit more appropriate!! Blessings...

Celebrating the Resurrection

Happy Easter to all and we have much to celebrate with the resurrection of Christ!   In Poland, everything shuts down for Easter. So we ended school on Wednesday with an Easter program and then fun activities for the day.  I was part of the small group who prepared for the festivities.  The pictures and captions will speak for themselves.  It's Monday, a day after Easter, and it's snowing.  In fact, it's been snowing since Easter morning! Thankfully, since everything is still shut down, there's no people out on the roads, etc (not that a whole lot of plowing takes place here anyways!)  We worshipped with the Tomy church on Friday evening for their Good Friday service.  Members of the church shared their stories and tied it into how Jesus's story wasn't finished on Good Friday, although many at that time thought his story was finished.  It was an amazing worship.  Then yesterday, we all gathered back together and celebrated His resurrection.  It was a packed place again and some had come for the first time.

As I was sitting in the church on Friday evening, I was sitting behind this family.  I was just thinking about "their" story and how so many people sitting there that night had their own story.. just like I have my own story and so do you.  How often do we think about our story and reflect on all the ways God has beckoned us to Him?  Jesus' story was written for me... for you.

For myself, for Josh and the girls, our story includes God's call for our family to move to Poland and serve Him alongside an amazing group of people.  Josh and I were just looking through photos while the girls were playing outside in the snow on the small little balcony.  Adjustments? Challenges?  Pain? Yep, but the opportunity to witness His work, His beckoning, His love here in Poland is priceless and we've gotten to be a part of it.  We are so blessed and for many of you reading this, you need to realize that you should feel equally blessed as you've joined with us in this journey.  We love you all... Happy Easter.

The first part of the morning we had the children go through 4 stations.  The first station was a monologue of Mary talking about her son, Jesus from birth to his trial. 

The second station was a Roman soldier talking about what he did to Jesus during the trial and crucifixion and how he wondered if he, too, could be forgiven for what he did.

The third station was our principal (Alicja) leading the children into a time of prayer and reflection.  Each student took a stone and placed it under the cross .

I love this picture showing such a tenderness in prayer among children.

Finally, in the last station, the angel showed that Jesus had risen from the tomb and he was no longer there!

 In each room, the children received an "egg" (a cut-out that included a symbol from that room and scripture) and once they finished going through the stations, they were able to color the eggs and put them in their baskets they had made a day earlier.  I went through the stations with the last group of students and although it was all in Polish, it was incredibly powerful. I felt God's presence there and knew I was a part of something honoring to Him.

Then, we gathered all the students in the gym and played games. Thankfully there was time to process everything and make a transition from "serious" to "fun".   See the pictures below!

I have to admit that it  seemed weird to play "pin the tail on the bunny" (yes, I got to put my artistic talent to use, ha ha, and I drew and painted this bunny myself!) after having such a spiritual experience with the stations!

We were tricky to Kaylor!

A group from Central Christian College in Missouri were here for the week, so they brought plastic eggs to do an easter egg hunt with the students.  Here are the spoils of Lauren and her classmate!  Top American candies brought (and not found in Poland):  starburst jelly beans, anything reeses pieces!  All the students had such a fun time with the hunt-- and since it's been so snowy and cold still here,  each class had their hunt in their room.

You would've gotten a kick out of seeing our tiny little kitchen and 7 eggs hanging from the cabinets.  I had gotten a cold (courtesy the girls), but had to make these eggs for the program!!!  I  did paper mache over balloons and then each class decorated one.  Here they are hanging before getting "whacked"!

Lauren's class eagerly awaiting!  Everyone dubbed their egg the "bird's nest"!

Kaylor's class (lucky for her and the two boys there, the rest of her class were home sick!)

Let the whacking begin!!

On Saturday, we went to our friends' house and colored eggs with the American group.  Coloring/dying/painting eggs are a tradition in Poland and done on the day before Easter because Catholic tradition is that they take their eggs to the priest and have him bless the eggs.  Then they bring the basket of eggs back to their homes and set them on their table as their center piece.  On the Monday after Easter (called "Wet Monday"), the holy water used is thrown out!

After coloring the eggs, we all enjoyed a wonderful meal!

These are the eggs we colored and brought home!

Easter morning!  Although Easter baskets are not a Polish tradition, the girls did find small little baskets when they woke up.  Not sure how it happened, but we don't have any pictures of them yet!